3/19/96

An important turning point in my development into what I am today was 
deciding to take responsibility for my actions. I made that decision in 
the beginning of my ninth grade. Unfortunately, at times I felt oppressed 
by my parents, who would not allow me to take full responsibility for my 
actions. In retrospect, they allowed me more freedom than I had given 
them credit for, but every once and a while they would encrouch on that 
freedom when they felt it was warranted. I guess society has dictated 
that responsibility begins on your 18th birthday, and not a day before or 
after. That seems pretty silly to me. I thought back then, as I do today, 
that one should be allowed to take responsibility for one's actions as 
soon as one is capable and willing to do so. 

The issue I want to address is cause and effect, not just my own story. 
Now since I reached that turning point four and a half years ago, I've 
believed that everyone must take full responsibility for the consequences 
of ALL of one's actions, no matter how small or insignificant they may 
appear to be. Nothing upsets me more than observing someone not taking on 
this heavy burden. Clearly to take responsibility for one's actions, one 
must know what the consequences of those actions are. Here within lies 
the problem. Most people are not aware of the consequences of their 
actions. They have no understanding of how a stimulus creates an effect 
(or many effects). Indeed, it is a very difficult topic, one which I have 
just begun to study. Many different trains of thought (Buddhism, Taoism, 
etc.) have addressed this issue and have come to very different 
conclusions. 

Let me pause a minute to define what I mean by action. Every action has 
consequences. If it doesn't affect its surrounding in any way, shape, or 
form, then it cannot be called an action. So by definition, any action is 
accompanied by one (rarely) or many (usually) effects. Anything that 
exists has effects on its surroundings. Its existence takes up space, 
which prevents anything else from occupying that space at the same time. 
If you shine a light on it, the light will be absorbed and usually 
reflected, affecting the path of the photons. The conclusion that I've 
drawn from this is that anything affects everything else around it. One 
might argue that some effects are too small and negligible to care about. 
According to chaos theory (a favorite subject of mine), small effects can 
and do amplify into large effects over time. Although some effects may 
die out over time (which is possible but unlikely by my theory), there is 
no possible way to predict which actions will and will not die out or 
amplify over time. 

The extension of this conclusion is much more important, however. It says 
that everything is interconnected. No one thing can exist without 
everything else. Buddhists emphasize this over and over again and are 
constantly aware of its manifestations. Indeed, this idea is never far 
from the front of most Eastern philosophy. The implications of these 
conclusions are quite incredible, and I certainly have only begun to 
think about these ideas. Perhaps one day I shall understand. One day.

A question arises in my mind. I strongly oppose blaming people for things 
that happen. To me, there doesn't seem much point in doing so. Nobody 
likes for their mistakes to be pointed out, much less being wrongly 
accused for something. In this sue-happy society that we live in, people 
love to point out and even profit from the mistakes of others. 
Fingerpointing is down to an art in this society. This, of course, is 
only the negative side. There is also exemplifying someone for their 
meritous actions, which is just blaming someone for doing something good. 
I guess this makes most people feel pretty good about themselves. 
However, it harbors resentment and depression to some of those not 
exemplified. So it seems to me that the balance is towards the negative 
in blaming people for their actions. 

Here's the question. I believe in taking responsibility for the 
consequences of one's actions, but I don't believe in blaming people for 
the consequences of their actions. Is this contradictory or hypocritical? 
I don't know. I guess for me there's a difference. One is watching the 
actions of oneself and the other is watching the actions of others. I 
think no one explains it better that the Taoist master, Lao Tzu: "Knowing 
others is to be clever. / Knowing yourself is to be enlightened. / 
Overcoming others requires force. / Overcoming yourself requires 
strength." Tao 33