The following is a selection of quotes by Cal Poly Mathematics professor 
Tom O'Neil, taken during Winter 1997, in Cal Poly's Math 550, a Real 
Analysis class.

"Get that sh** off the board."
                              (to M. Tran)
                              3:31 pm  14 January 1997
                              [Editor's note:  M. Tran never came back.]

"If it's a decent epsilon, it will have a bunch of zeroes (in the ternary 
expansion)."
                              4:17 pm  21 January 1997

"You can get a small child to prove this for you."
                              4:10 pm  23 January 1997

"The son of a bitch gets up at 6:00 -- the CAT, not my wife -- and it wants 
to be fed."
                              4:48 pm  23 January 1997

"Nobody likes me, everybody hates me; I think I'll go eat worms!"
                              3:13 pm  28 January 1997

"I'm afraid someone will walk in the door and see this."
                              3:22 pm  28 January 1997

"Oh... my fault."
                              3:44 pm  28 January 1997
                              [Editor's note:  This is VERY rare.]

"I think that's a sign of poor toilet training when you permute your 
integers."
                              (to J. Kastner)
                              3:46 pm  28 January 1997

"When you think of things like the Axiom of Choice & Zorn's Lemma all the
time, it makes you WEIRD."
                              4:39 pm  28 January 1997

"I hope you didn't notice, but that was a proof by contradiction."
                              4:51 pm  28 January 1997

"I guess I can't argue with that."
                              3:25 pm  30 January 1997

"There's only one person in the world that knows how to make a decent 
 exam question."   T. O'Neil
"And who's that?"  J. Kastner
"Me."              T. O'Neil
                              3:45 pm  30 January 1997

"If this isn't true, we'll change it."
                              4:44 pm  30 January 1997

"It's very efficient -- he only uses one epsilon."
                              5:04 pm  30 January 1997

"I contend, saying something about uniform convergence without talking
about the sets (on which the convergence is uniform) is equivalent to
committing incest."
                              4:19 pm   4 February 1997

"Olmsted's the gospel.  Royden is dead."
                              3:29 pm   6 February 1997

"I took numerical analysis, non-Euclidean geometry, and complex variables
from this guy (Vincent C. Harris).  Talk about a utility infielder."
                              4:18 pm  11 February 1997

"Sh**... what do I want to say here?"
                              4:23 pm  20 February 1997

"We're going to define the Lebesgue integral of a bounded, measurable 
function defined on a measurable set of finite measure.  Any function that
satisfies all of these hypotheses wouldn't dare NOT be integrable."
                              4:36 pm  20 February 1997

"You pick up a function off the street."
                              5:01 pm  20 February 1997

"Alan Holz says that if you walk into any high school mathematics class in
San Luis Obispo, there are as many girls as boys -- but that's probably
because their mothers are free thinking hippies."
                              3:18 pm  25 February 1997

"If you're reading something and you don't immediately understand it, then
you should stop and prove it."
                              3:57 pm  25 February 1997

"Please replace the not-equals-to with a greater-than."
                              3:31 pm  27 February 1997

"There are all sorts of different sorts of this, depending on where you 
grew up."
                              3:39 pm   6 March 1997

"As an aside, just between us."
                              3:40 pm   6 March 1997

"I can't wait for oral exams.  I've already bought a white tie and a pair 
of sunglasses."
                              3:19 pm  11 March 1997

"All sales are final."
                              3:58 pm  13 March 1997

"... if something goes somewhere almost everywhere."
                              3:59 pm  13 March 1997

"Here I'm wasting hypotheses."
                              4:22 pm  13 March 1997

"Note... thus... THEREFORE!!!  I like that."
                              4:28 pm  13 March 1997

"You can't argue with him (Royden) because he's dead!!!"
                              4:32 pm  13 March 1997

"You wouldn't want to pet the graph of a non-measurable function."
                              4:39 pm  13 March 1997

"It must be true because I can't think of a counterexample."
                              4:43 pm  13 March 1997

"The take home exam is worth a million points."
                              4:54 pm  13 March 1997